"Walked past the mirror, and I wasn't fine!"
How many times have you said that about yourself? Well, don't worry, you are not the only one.
Like many others, feeling confident in our skin takes time and a mindset change. Many people approached me and asked how I became so full of confidence. Well, to be truthful, I wasn't always this way.
I was always a little bigger than the other kids around me. I didn't wear the latest brands or wasn't hip to the latest trends. I was just a turtle walking slow and had my shell to hide when I needed to. I only really felt comfortable around my Jamaican family. There were never any judgments on how big I was or what I was wearing. I have two close aunts that I idolized when looking good. They always attended the parties and went out. Hair done, makeup done, shoes on point! One day my aunt invited me to raid her closet. I went wild! She had me trying on her dresses, jewelry, and jackets. When I got to the shoes and found out, we wore the same size 7, and IT WAS OVER. I never looked back at what I used to wear, and my style vision just got broader.
Sometimes we need a little guidance on bringing out what we always had. For me, it was my aunts. They were there for me when I needed fashion advice and would encourage me to try a specific color, fabric, or purse to put my outfit all together. When they started gifting me items for myself, my junior high school experience brought much attention.
Now let me be clear, the little turtle was still there, and I still had my shell. But my exterior was more glamourous, and I had a little pep to my step. The compliments came rolling in, but they never got to my head. For some reason, I was able to stay humble and always found ways to help others feel the same as I did.
So here is my way of helping you!
Here are three ways to help you feel more confident in your skin!
1. Be yourself!
We think changing something about ourselves will make us feel better a lot of time. I'm not talking about dying your hair or changing your hairstyle. I'm talking about your personality. You enter a room and try to mimic the crowd you are in. Or you may find yourself trying too hard to have everyone like you. Give them a chance to know the real you, but you must be true to yourself for that to happen. Being yourself will only attract the right people to be in your space. We know that negative and positives attract, but you are not a science experience. You want the positive people in your circle that will always uplift you and stay true to you.
2. Compliment yourself!
Sometimes we try so hard for others to notice us that we fail to see what's right in front of us. We wait for others to compliment or say something nice about something we have or wear. But why wait for someone to say something nice to you. Why not say something nice to yourself first? From this day forward, you should wake up complimenting yourself. The great Mary J. Blige said, "Good Morning, Gorgeous." Those are her words when she wakes up, no make-up, hair still wrapped up, and when she looks in the mirror, she confirms her looks before someone else can say it to her. When the words begin to flow from your mouth, you speak them into existence, and all that positive energy comes back 100 times better.
3. Dress cute and comfy!
But what does that mean?! So I take this motto as if I'm running errands and may see a celebrity. Storytime! The other day, I was in the grocery store, and I looked up and saw David Banner! At first, I was a bit star-struck because I didn't think celebrities did their groceries, but if you are from the south and know David Banner, then you know, if any star, it would be him shopping for his food. I brought this up to say, what if he was someone that could help me better my career. If I were in the music industry, I would have been embarrassed walking around looking too comfy. It shouldn't matter where you are going; TRY to look good. It could be as simple as a glasses change, adding earrings versus wearing none. Stop being lazy and grab your good pair of sneakers rather than the beat-up ones you wear to walk the dog in the neighborhood. Always look ready for an interview. You never know who you will run into. It may be your next ample opportunity, and we all know first impressions can sometimes last a lifetime!
Hopefully, reading this will encourage you to start building your style confidence. Remember, you are your worst critique, but you can also be your number 1 supporter!